Thinking about Father's Day

Father's Day always has me thinking.  I was truly blessed in the father or father figure department growing up and now.  In the early days, I may not have thought so, as many of my friends had parents married and their dad was there everyday.

I have a dad.  My parents are divorced and have been for the entire memory of my life.  Now, while my dad is a good man, he has never had ill intent but he was not the prime example I needed in my life growing up.  He is a very hard worker.  He's always had more than one job.  He just needs that in his life as a provider.  He loved the fun part of fathering and I loved that about him too.  He was always at my softball games, school concerts, spelling bees, etc.  He was there at the things you want your parents to be there for.  Please don't think he was a deadbeat, that is so far from the case.  He just relied heavily on my mom for the day-to-day.  He loved us dearly in the best way he knew how.  He really stepped up to the plate after his parents passing.  He traveled to see Tyler for her graduation party just last month.

But for that day-to-day fathering, I was incredibly lucky to have my grandfathers.

I had one local, Poppy.  Poppy was the funny grandfather.  Primarily quiet but you could always curl up in his lap and watch Popeye or Tom & Jerry with him.  He had a train collection in the basement and we built many different scenes.  He had a old style sock monkey in his room and stories about him, whether they were real tales or just made up ones, they were the best nonetheless.  He was our driver.  See, my mom didn't drive and my dad worked non-stop and my grandparents were just a few streets away.  He was the one that took us to practices, the mall, or even my mom to the grocery store every other Wednesday.  I looked forward the school days off that I got to go over to their house.  My grandparents were big couponers and savers, they had a stockpile!  The original Extreme Couponers.  We'd go to different grocery stores.  My grandfather would fill up gas and still had a little book with the mileage and everything.  If it was a Friday, we'd go to McDonald's for a fish filet meal; anywhere in the north where Catholics have a stronghold on the Friday menus of no meat.  During my fright-filled teenage years, he guided me.  When those times that going out with the grandparents weren't cool, I'd still go over and watch Tom & Jerry, Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.

He passed away in 2005.  He had just gone to the mailbox to send out Valentine's Day cards to his great-grandchildren.  He came back and told my Grammy he didn't feel well and he went to lay down.  He was gone.  It was one of the most devastating days of my life.  But I get to see pieces of him everyday.  Part of Mini J's name holds his and so does his personality, always strong.  A-man has a piece of his goofy side, loving stories and cartoons.  Miss T stole his heart and her blue eyes remind me of him.  A-man never got to meet my Poppy and Mini J barely remembers him but they hear stories often.

My Grandpa lived far away (well, far away for a kid) but it really was only eighty-six miles.  He was a very slim man, always with Juicy Fruit and the black tube of Chapstick and don't dare give him cheese.  There have been many times I pick up those items just to have a piece of him near me.  At my grandparents' house, he was the easy-going one, the one you couldn't wait to see.  My grandmother was good too, but she was a bit overprotective and not as much fun!  My Grandpa drove down the day before every major holiday to take us back to my mom's hometown.  He'd also pick us up for a few weeks during the summer.  Many times, my brother would take vacations with friends, so it was just me.  I loved these times because it meant just me and my Grandpa on our road trip.  He worked for Remington Arms and when he'd get off of work, he'd take me for ice cream or to go visit one of my great uncles, there were so many.  My Grandpa was one of 11 children!  Sometimes he'd take me to the diner he frequented.  He didn't get to see much of my crazy teenager stage, just the snippets from holidays.  Once I got my license, my first big trek was to see him and I took that trek many times.  And every time I hear Zac Brown Band's 'Highway 20 Ride', I belt it out.  Route 20 was the road that led from my city to his town.  So very fitting.

Grandpa died suddenly in 2002, in his sleep.  He had been battling stomach issues for awhile, and the day after he passed he was supposed to get a colonoscopy to hopefully figure out the cause.  It was crushing.  Mini J had just been born ten weeks before and my Grandpa had only got to meet him once.  He loved him, he knew his name was to honor him (and my Poppy).  No one can find the pictures that we took during that meeting.  Mini J reminds me the most of him.  He's very mild until something strikes a cord, then you'll hear about it and don't give Mini J cheese!

When I became pregnant at sixteen, the people that were the hardest to tell were my grandfathers.  I knew I had disappointed them but they never say a word about it.  They stood by me, my Poppy even took me to prenatal appointments.  And when that bundle of joy, Miss T was born, they gleamed with pride and adored her just as they had me for all those years.

Thankfully, both of grandfathers got to meet Mr. J and they very much approved of him and considered me incredibly lucky.  All of the positive attributes (and maybe even a few of the negative ones!) of my father and grandfathers possess in my heart and mind Mr. J has.  Mr. J is my everything and my children's world.  He is everything I could have dreamed for a father, and even a husband and most importantly, my best friend.  He doesn't miss a thing, he is our world.

Father's Day is a great holiday in my home.  There will never be enough gifts or accolades to honor any of them in my book.  I get to honor them the best way I can, by passing down their stories, their memories and encourage me to make sure my sons are those men to their future wives and children and my daughter marries one too, maybe even find Mom G one again too.